The Route
5 Days. 3 Countries. 1 Dodgy Car.
The Full Route Map
Fancy the full picture? Here’s the whole glorious mess — roads, ferry, mountains, wine stops and all.
Stafford → Dover
And we're off! Leaving the familiar streets of Stafford behind, we point our £600 Rat east to meet up with some of the other teams before heading south-east towards the white cliffs of Dover. It's the most familier leg of the journey, but knowing our car, even this might be pushing it. Prayers welcome.
Stafford was founded around 913 AD by Æthelflæd, Lady of the Mercians, as a fortified town to defend against Viking invasions. It’s also home to the Ancient High House, the largest timber-framed townhouse in England, built in 1595 by the Dorrington Family using local oak from Doxey. It survived the English Civil War — hopefully a good omen for the survival chances of our £600 car.
Dover → Rouen
In a cloud of smoke and the smell of bunred out clutch plates we will hopefully board the ferry at Dover with 200+ other teams and finally arrive in Dunkirk. Then it's a cruise down through northern France to the beautiful city of Rouen. Our Rat will finally taste continental tarmac. Bonjour la France! Préparez-vous… le chaos arrive.
Rouen is where Joan of Arc was burned at the stake in 1431. The cathedral there was painted over 30 times by Claude Monet. Our car might also become a piece of art by this point - abstract, probably.
Rouen → Bordeaux
Somewhere along the route to Bordeaux we pass Le Mans, home of the famous 24-hour endurance race. Those drivers have million-pound cars and full pit crews — we have a £600 rat, a Little Chef map of the UK, and blind optimism. If we're feeling brave (or get lost) we might even detour via Paris to wave at the Eiffel Tower.
Bordeaux produces over 700 million bottles of wine per year. That's roughly how many we'll need to calm our nerves after driving this car for three days straight!
Bordeaux → Zaragoza
We cross the Pyrenees into Spain! This is where it gets properly dramatic — mountain passes, tunnels carved through solid rock, and scenery that almost makes you forget you're driving a £600 car. As we roll across the border it's time to announce ourselves: Hola España… prepárate, que ya llegamos. Zaragoza awaits!
Some of the Pyrenees tunnels stretch for several kilometres through the mountains. It’s an impressive feat of engineering… though ideally not the place where a £600 car develops a mysterious new rattle and forces us to rethink our life choices.
Zaragoza → BENIDORM!
THE FINAL STRETCH! We will hopefully barrel down the east coast of Spain past Valencia and within spitting distance of Dans house towards our destination - the glorious, sun-soaked, neon-lit paradise that is Benidorm! If the car makes it, we'll be celebrating with the coldest cervezas known to mankind. VAMOS!
Benidorm has more high-rise buildings per capita than New York City. It grew from a small fishing village into a skyscraper-lined Mediterranean resort. Not bad for a quiet little Spanish fishing port… and not bad for a fleet of £600 cars that just made it across half of Europe.
